Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Spring! Finally!



A year ago I was trying to train for a half-marathon, work two jobs & a weekend shift, and live my normal life. I was tired. Very tired. My asthma was acting up when I was running and I thought it was because I was doing too much. I dropped out of the race & eventually stopped the weekend shift at work. I was still tired. I slept a lot, I napped a lot, but I felt no pain and no issues (or at least I thought I had no issues). I was starting to get worried that I was tired because of some long-term side-effect from all the cancer treatments or another illness. I thought it was the celiac disease or that I needed to dial down life.

Months passed and it was July. Around that same time of year we have to get TB tests done at work. I missed my appointment at occupational health & decided on a whim to just get the test and an annual physical at my Primary Care. That split second, impulsive decision is what saved my life. Who knows how long I would have gone on before I got "symptoms" from the malignant pleural effusion forming in my left lung. Knowing how I work, I would have not noticed for months, kept moving, kept working out, and never connected "cancer" to being tired. I made that appointment & luckily I saved my own life with a routine EKG.

I post that story as recently I have been thinking about how great I feel. Each day I feel stronger and with each week I realize that I am not tired. I think back on where I was in 2010 before the first diagnosis ... I was tired all the time no matter how well I ate, how much I slept or how much I rested. This is not the type of tired where you might be over-worked or did not sleep through the night. This is the tired where you feel like a boulder is on your head and lead is filling in your shoes. I haven't felt like that since October 2013. Come to think of it, I was less tired post mastectomy, during chemo and the entire first 1.5yrs after chemo than I was in early 2010 & 2013. Energy is a sign that my cancer is going away. Strength is a sign that my body is coming back to me.  

My doctor said "Listen to your body and how you feel." I have been making an effort every morning for almost 1mo to get up and go to the gym in the AM. I feel great. I am strong, my lungs feel good and I have no strange aches or pains in my bones. I am taking this as a sign that I am getting back to feeling good. I have been lifting heavy, running, and doing sprint-work. I feel like I am doing these things without effort. Each day I make the effort to recognize that my body feels good, to remind myself that I am not tired everyday, and that I have energy to do more than I did a year ago. These things are sign that I am getting better, things are getting better & my blood work will be good. I am also putting back on muscle. The other day I leg pressed 260lbs, that's twice my body weight. I deadlift my body weight. I can run 2miles straight and 3miles with sprints. This is not average for a person living with cancer, but this will be the norm for how I live with cancer.

This was just two weeks ago after a back workout and sprints. I am sure more selfies will be posted.


I have no new updates in respect to my treatment. I am still on the same medication - daily Femara, Lupron every 4mo, and Zometa IV every 3mo. I am due for my tumor marker & CMP tests in three weeks & see my doctor on the 28th. 

Please pray for me and hope that in 3 weeks I have a good report from my doctor. <3