Where do I start? I never knew I had metastatic disease. I know that sounds pretty crazy as the metastasis was around my lung in my pleural space. I was running, training for a half marathon, and honestly focusing on work and figured my life with cancer was slowly going behind me. I had a work physical, like I do every year, and they found a strange noise on my EKG. EKG led to echocardiogram, which found fluid around my left lung base. This led to a CT scan of my chest, a Thoracentisis of my lung region and a biopsy confirming I had metastasis to the pleura of my left lung.
That was over 3years ago. I have been through many medications - Femara, Afinitor & Aromasin, a Clinical Trial, Xeloda and now Faslodex & Ibrance. It honestly did not think things were rough until a year ago I went in to fix my pleural effusion. The effusion never went away over 2yrs and I was hoping it was an easy procedure.
I woke up from that surgery with a pleur-x catheter in my left torso. It was upsetting and I felt like my whole life was falling apart. I had a hard time keeping my stuff together. In all honesty, I did not even think I would make it to this point. Having a giant tube in your side could do that to you. That tube put a giant hold on EVERYTHING. I ended up in the hospital due to the unbearable constipation the pain medication put me through. I thought I was going to die and it felt that way. It was a 3x/week visit from my visiting nurse who would drain the tube of the fluid. It was kind of neat to watch, but to save your stomachs I will hold off on a picture of it for you. I couldn't exercise and had to find new hobbies. When all my hobbies were physical, it was hard, but I learned that I love knitting, coloring, painting and spending time with my friends & family.
You know what? Some things made the situation much better. I called the tube Oblina. I made fun of the tubey-wooby to make each day a bit better. I got out of the hospital and swore to NEVER take pain medication again. I was switched to Xeloda and thank goodness I had a wonderful response. The fluid was gone and my lung mets were slowly going away. My tube was able to be removed in 3months. My friends made things better. We went on a road trip to Disney, which helped me realize that despite the tube I could have fun and live the best life I could ever imagine. My fiancé proposed to me, which was amazing and still is.
I am off of Xeloda and on Faslodex & Ibrance. I still do not know if it is working, but it can fail just like all the other drugs. I try to keep my head up and keep moving. I do have those dark moments where I cannot find a light at the end of the tunnel. Some times I still cannot believe that I even had mets and it was in my lungs. So I just do what was (and still am) and still is making me happy by lifting weights, running, biking, knitting, coloring, painting, spending time with my friends & family and hiking. It was what made me happy & despite lung mets it is what always will make me happy.
