Almost May

I woke up this AM and thought " I cannot believe all of this has happened to me." I am still in awe and shock. I wonder when that feeling will go away.


Good news only 3 more chemos left! That is something to look forward to.

A year ago, the things I worried about are just so insignificant compared to where I am now. I still feel like this is unbelievable. I guess that is the mood I am in today. Just in shock & a little excited to be almost done.

Nothing to Say

I haven't posted in a long time. Nothing new has really been happening. I have 4 Taxol treatments left after this coming Monday. I am really ready to finish chemo. Since I have returned to work, I have avoided getting sick. My white blood cell counts are pretty low & if I get sick then my whole treatment schedule is going to get thrown off. I am really ready to be done & I want to be done on time!

My toenails and hand-nails are tender to the touch, but I have somehow fixed the prior issue with my toenails. I felt like I went at them with a hack saw, but they look better than most professional pedicures I have gotten in the past.

Like I said, nothing exciting is really going on. I am excited for my exchange surgery coming up on May 31. I am also excited to get through radiation and have some hair growing back on my head.

Toenails...

Sometimes I wonder if my OCD just bites me in my ass. Ever since starting chemo I have been a stickler for caring for my nails. I was told to keep them short. Keep them painted dark. Use tea tree oil on the beds 2x daily. Keep them dry after the shower. Not go get pedicures. To use acetone free-nail polish remover. Despite sticking to this routine since Jan 1, I am slowly watching two of my little toes lose their nails. 

I am frustrated and grossed out. The toe hurts, but doesn't show signs of infection. It is just irritated. I think I only made my risk of "black toe" worse, because I have been running 3 days a week. I have lost a toenail once from running but that was after an 10mi run. I have no way, no how ran 10mil during treatments. I googled what to do & it says to keep antibacterial on it (I am using Tea tree oil!!) and leave the nail alone. Apparently they are just going to dry up & fall off. EW! 

I am just very disgusted. I am glad its not sandal season yet, but I really hope that these two little toes stop looking like frankenstien's babies and grow out or something. I am going to have my oncologist look at them on Monday. I am sure he is gonna just say "watch and wait." He does that with every stupid side-effect that happens. You know, he is usually right. I just want normal toes back. :-(

Now, I am bumping my nail care up a notch. Time for extra hand care & time to put some Bandaids on these little toes when I run. In the meantime, I am gonna google more things to do to save my feet.