What a Difference a Year Makes

One year ago from today, I had the lump in my left breast. I also was depressed. It wasn't because of the lump, I was depressed before that. I was going to therapy (yes, a therapist in therapy), because I was struggling with two beliefs. One was "I must be perfect." The second was "I must stay perfect and healthy or I will die from cancer like my grandparents." Irrational, but held in some grain of truth. I was sad. I was irritable. I was completely isolated within my own head most days. I haven't really told many people I went through that. I have struggled with anxiety and depression since I was 18. I think last summer I was at my worst.

Now most people would have assumed that getting diagnosed with cancer would have made me more depressed and more anxious. It actually did the opposite. Cancer gave me strength. It helped me realize that I am not perfect, but that is ok and that I will still be successful with my imperfections. I also know I won't die from cancer. I am too strong to die from cancer and cancer will be the least of my worries. Depression was worse than Cancer for me. Cancer was a time where my true friends came to help. Cancer was a time where my strongest will came out and I kicked butt my whole way through this journey. I am one person of many who have this disease, but I went running, I lifted weights, and I kept positive.

365 days later and I woke up today feeling happier than ever. I am no longer depressed. I no longer have cancer. I am done with all active cancer treatments. Now, that is something to smile about.

I am truly ready to move onto my real life. I do have maintenance therapies to keep doing: 1. Daily Tamoxifen for 5 years, 2. My Holistic Vitamin Regimen, and 3. Every 6 month Zometa (Biophosphate) infusions for bone strength. I also will have my revision surgery for my reconstruction. These things are nothing compared to this road I have traveled. Things are only going to get better from here.