That changed 1 week ago out of left field. I had my 3mo CT Scans, which showed my cancer was slowly growing back in my lung space and lesions actually formed 3 small ones on my liver and my markers rose again. I had a plan come November 14 to start chemotherapy again and enroll myself in a TCell therapy trial based on using my body to help chemo work stronger. It was a good plan, made sense and physically I was ok.
See - plan, easy boring, kill cancer... usual 7yrs of my life.
Last Friday I woke up sick like I had the flu. Called my doctor and was told if it lasts 24hours go to the ER. This ibrance drug lowers our white cells which make us sick gals susceptible to viruses and infections. I was 100% convinced my two pukes and nausea was the flu.
The flu did not go away Saturday, so by the afternoon my on call doctor ordered me into the ER for fluids and anti-nausea. The symptoms lifted. I was awake, hydrated not sick, and went home. No headaches nothing, better, so I was sent home.
Then 12 hours pass. I wake up worse. Now I have a headache and I can't let go of my toilet. Me and the toilet got pretty close. I started to have cold sweats and was barely verbal. What is wrong I asked myself? Kyle had to get the ER, our families together and I thought this slow cancer now wants to kill me 5mo before I am married. I know then I thought crap I have to get into NYC and see a doctor my cancer is not being a nice friend to me anymore. I couldn't tell anyone that but get me to an ER now.
A second long ER visit happened. I was ordered for a Brain Scan. [Please note I have had 7 Brain MRIs since 25, 7 and 7yrs with cancer, so I never not did one. I get Brain MRIs annually and was planning on the 14th at chemo asking for one since the drugs weren't working. I was being proactive, my usual proactive self and figured eh I will get chemo and then a quick MRI when I am at my doctors no biggie].
The local ER found a tumor in a CT Machineon my left frontal lobe and immediately sent me to my savors at Cornell NYC. It took hours to wait. I could have died. My brain swelled bad. I could have lost speech, memories, words, thoughts and my life. I actually was at a risk of letting this stupid cancer get me with NO WARNING and it wasn't fair.
I got into Cornell early Monday AM and was already scheduled for a MRI and surgery that same day. Starting Monday the 14th I was at my home NY Presbryterian Cornell getting prepped to have my head popped open to kill cancer. MRI was done and then we discovered the 9mm buddy also grew 10 small buddies under 1mm a piece in my chrome dome. I now needed more radiation. Thanks big head for hiding cancer. I mean I have a nice smart head, but hiding cancer so not cool.
Moments were bleak. I have had a pretty east metastatic journey, no huge physical changes, quick small procedures, always have a response to therapy, but it pulled tricks this time. My big brain said no I wanna be smarter than dumb lung and bones and grew some hiding cells.. My big brain is not cool with me now. I am quite upset at how hungry it was for cancer.
Somehow my family, my friends, social media and I heard a voice (no joke I heard a deceased friend of mine from my cancer world saying do not give up you go) and you all know I am not super religious. I can't even imagine how it felt for them. I know I was scared but had to do anything the doctors said.
With the support of my family & my medical at Cornell (no joke somehow two doctors saved my life in less than 12hours), we had a plan. I was getting surgery with the top neurosurgeon in the world (see he is a famous man with a wikipedia page
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodore_H._Schwartz) At the same time my oncologist, Dr Vahdat was pulling her strings in NYC to kill these bad brain babies with the best colleagues she works with. She was already creating another Vahdat plan of sheer magic. Lining me up with (I tell you not) two doctors who probably know more than Stephen Hawking when it comes to brains, radiation and breast cancer. I understand nothing on what they do except they both worked to help create immunotherapy and vaccines to cure brain cancers etc... so smart cookies. So a magic plan was in place and somehow this was stuff I do, like coordinate and life was coordinating itself.
In the last week I went through fear, sadness, anger, shock and hope in moments. I thought brain cancer was death in days and I would not make it. I never thought that about myself. I am pretty fucking hopeful despite the cards I was dealt.
Somehow I had a giant tumor removed from my frontal lobe and proved that I can have brain surgery that removed a giant tumor from my head and bounced back with no verbal, physical, emotional or usual pre-frontal cortex dangers. I was slow from recovery, but needed no therapy to bounce back. I have a barely visible scar and the tumor vanished on my surgical follow up. Is this luck? Hope? God? Someone was there...
I had my surgical MRI and the big tumor is gone and on a follow up scan isn't there. So I was sent home with flying colors! Honor roll cancer patient this week! I got out of the hospital two days early. Look I love overachievement but my body was like nope I have a plan fuck brain tumor. So we are home.
I have a few appointments coming already I start radiation planning on Monday the 21st and get my head staples removed only 1 week post surgery. Then on the 29th of November I have chemo and t-cell shit to do. Look I am becoming a non boring cancer patient! I am a serious cancer patient now who gets to live on the Upper east side for 2016 Christmas Season. I guess I got that wish (kidding). I always saw those people with serious cancer plans like hmm breast cancer must be easy, because labs every month and scans every 3months is not bad.
Now I got a plan, lots of trips into NYC and will need people to help me and my family anyway so I can kick its ass again. I have chemotherapy, radiation and imunotherapies lined up in orders that haven't been laid out yet. I will know more when we see the doctors.
If you want some good reading, hang on this cancer patient is going to shock the heck out of you in a few months. I have become one of them. The serious ones with strange plans of killing cancer.
As lame as this is, I have become the female lance armstrong - one strong lung, screwed up hormones from a sexual cancer and now a big angry brain. You know Lance is still alive right? He almost died 20yrs ago at my age from the same shit with his testes. So see you guys in my 50s...because I got many years to go here. When I am cleared to run again and swim and hike and rock climb, you know my head will be there.
Remember also we have the go fund me. I am not working at all now and the family could need help to get me around anyway with food, support or monetary assistance. This is not going to be a blip for a bit.
https://www.gofundme.com/2cxdds6s
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