When I was first told I was going to lose my left lymph nodes & the complete function of my chest muscle, doctors told me I would never be able to lift upper body weights again. I had one doctor tell me I can lift light weights, when I asked what they meant by light, the doctor replied "2-5lbs." My head spinned and I laughed to myself- light was the 15lb dumbbell. The problem with me is if I am told I cannot do something, I want to prove people wrong.
In 2010 pre-cancer, I was at my peak athletic form. I was taking spin classes, running 6mi at 9min mile pace, and lifting heavy weights. It took me 2yrs to get to that point and I was dead set on getting back there. Six days after my mastectomy, I resumed exercise. I was walking 4mi daily at 2mph and using the recumbent bike for 60min. I worked my way up to running 8 weeks post mastectomy & by the time I was 2mo into chemo I was run/walking 5-6mis 3-4x/week. I was slow, but I was doing it. I also started lifting (not light), I was unable to pick up at the same weights and reps I started at so I started low and slow. This was January 2011. Needless to say, I kept lifting, I kept running and I kept proving the stats wrong.
In September 2011, I developed lymphedema and blamed it on the weight lifting and starting p90x. I met with an OT who told me I could not lift, so I stopped and I ran a lot. I was unsatisfied, I get a sick confidence boost from lifting. Naturally I ignored her advise, used my sleeve & glove and was able to combat the lymphedema with weight lifting. I was struggling with regaining strength due to a poorly fitted glove & sleeve and damages endured from 2 surgeries and radiation. I kept pushing though. I did not give up.
I kept working out and made another step towards running long distances again in October 2012, I was lifting, but I plateaued and was afraid to push myself to get back to 2010. I ran, I ran and I ran. I was able to run 8mi. It is something I am proud of. I was supposed to do a Half Marathon, but never made it due to lack of time to train and something "funky" going on with my oxygen intake or asthma. Around the time of being unable to finish my training for the Marathon & devastated that my running career might be over, I went to a new OT. This OT who told me to get a better sleeve & go back to what I was doing in 2010.
I listened to her. In April 2013, I got that sleeve and I want to show you an idea of the gains I have made:
Shoulder Raises have gone from 5lbs to 20lbs within 6mo
Barbell Squats have gone from 45lb to 150lbs within 6mo
Lat Pull downs have gone from 45lb to 95lbs within 6mo
Shoulder Press has gone from 5lb Dumbbell to 45lb barbell within 6mo.
Deadlifts have gone from 40lbs to 115lbs within 6mo
Lunges have gone from body weight to 95lbs on each leg in 6mo
Barbell rows have gone from 20lbs to 75lbs in 6mo
At this time, I stopped doing all AB work, lifted heavy weights, and have only done interval/sprint cardio. Compared to pre-cancer, I have gone from a size 6 to a size 2 and I weigh within the same range of 135-140lbs that I did in 2010.
I was re-diagnosed in July. The cancer is in my pleural lining on my lung. I thought that this would end my goal to become as fit as I was in 2010. Granted, I had a good 3 weeks in August, where climbing stairs was a chore. I could barely walk to the gym or up stairs at work without getting winded. I bounced back. I kept moving. I kept lifting. I was feeling defeated, I am not going to deny that. I look back on that month and I think - "that sucked," but I am getting back to normal.
In July, I told my doctor in NJ what I was doing & he is actually measuring my progress or potential decline in progress on my exercise. He encouraged me to run through chemo and now he told me to listen to my body, keep exercising, and see if the breathing is impaired when I work out. If that is not enough motivation, I dunno what else is. Heck, I need something to ease my mind that I know when I am going to feel better.
It is November. For two months, I have had no estrogen in my body, which has resulted in achy joints in my hands, knees, and shoulders. Most days its hard to get moving, because this is painful. Nothing but Aleve helps with the pain and that is dangerous to pop everyday. This pain has turned my AM work outs into sleep-ins, because I cannot push myself or move my body. I am very hard on myself about this. I like getting the gym out of the way, but the joint pain is not bearable most days. Despite the pain, I told myself I had to continue to work out 3-4x/week and two of those days include sprints on the step mill. I might not be running 8mi, I might not have the gusto to do spin, I might have to save working out for days off and in the PM, and I might not be able to workout 6x week due to joint pain; but I sure can push out 3-4 amazing weight workouts each week. I am happy with that. If I can do this, I contemplated competing, which is on my bucket list, I just do not know how. I wish I did.
The coolest thing about this is:
1. I was told I would lose muscular function in my left arm and chest. - Proved them wrong
2. I have cancer in my lung & I keep doing cardio and fighting through it. - Proved them wrong.
3. I was forced into chemical menopause and was told I would lose muscle tone. - Proved them wrong.
4. I fight like a girl & was told girls shouldn't lift heavy or they would look like a man - Proved them wrong.
5. This might help me scratch off competing on my bucket list - Proving myself wrong.
6. I workout with joint pain, fluid on my lung, cancer in my body, and damaged muscles from treatment. - Showing the world they can do this too.
I will continue to prove the stats wrong. I will be one to beat the odds. I will continue to fight this thing. I will continue to live as if these battles have not attempted to deplete me physically. I will continue to be the 1 of few girls in the weight room. I will continue to be one of the many stage 4 ladies who will not give up the fight. I will continue to turn to other women and men who have fought this beast and continue to push their bodies past their potential.
You are incredible. Truly. It's astounding and you are an inspiration Caitlin :)
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