Guest Post: "Wake Up" - Kyle

The Today Show is having a special on October 1st to highlight Breast Cancer Awareness Month. They initially were going to focus on Joan London's recent Dx with Breast Cancer & then after a fellow stage 4 breast cancer sister emailed them asking to increase awareness about Stage 4 and Metastasis, the show offerred to have her on as well. The Today Show asked for my fellow sister's picture and then denied her appearance on the show when they found out she had hair and was not "bold and bald." Many women I know have been emailing The Today Show outraged about their stereotype of this disease, most likely to glamourize cancer. My boyfriend, Kyle, was angry & he wrote something about his views on the situation. I decided I wanted to post it on my blog.

Here is his guest post. Please share and let people know that The Today Show is in denial.

I'm a bit pissed off.  I'm not the most well-spoken human being, and I rarely post or even rant, but here we go…

This morning I found out that the Today Show is doing a piece on young women with breast cancer.  They reached out the community and asked for people to be on the show to talk about their realities. When contacted by a young woman with stage 4 cancer about her interest in coming on the show to advocate, they denied her because she was not bald.  I believe the response was "I'm sorry but we're looking for bald and bold."
 
Not every person who is sick "looks" sick.  I'm not trying to take anything away from the many women out there dealing with cancer and have lost their hair, but rather point out that the media is controlling how the general public look at issues that have become incredibly important in society.  My girlfriend and many friends that we've made along the way have stage 4 cancer and look well.  I bet you no one would ever even suspect that they're dealing with this horrible disease.

It is irresponsible to ignore the other sides of cancer.  We're providing people with only a small percentage of the truth when it comes to how cancer affects different people.  YES going through certain treatments may leave you bald.  NO that does not define what cancer is for those who have been diagnosed.  And re-diagnosed.  And re-diagnosed.  And RE-DIAGNOSED.

Actually allow the women who want to share with their community the reality of their situation to come on your show and advocate.  To make others aware of what can happen and to show the world that their views of cancer are skewed. Beacause of the lack of "awareness" and focus on Stage Four Cancer Women with stage 4 breast cancer see the least amount of funds devoted to research. 3% of funding goes to stage four and 30% of women diagnosed with breast cancer will eventually get stage four breast cancer (whether that is 1yr or 20yrs after the initial diagnosis).
 
If there's going to be an end to this thing ( Better treatments, etc), then more people need to know that having cancer is not always something that can be seen on the surface.  It's something that throughout the rest of your life will be something you wrestle with inside of you.  You never know if it will come back.  You always feel like the seconds are ticking away until it does.  You try to live your life clean, and healthy to keep it at bay.  You are constantly living in fear.  It might not show, but it's inside.

Granted, I'm speaking from the view of a caretaker.  I've been with my girlfriend since before she was diagnosed. I love her more than anything.  I want a future with her where cancer is not in the equation, but that is never going to be the case.  And that's just scratching the surface of how I feel.  But how I feel doesn't matter.  I can't imagine nor hold a candle to the many others out there who have to live their lives with this disease haunting them.

Another thing to consider…if you think about it, there's most likely someone in your life who either has cancer, or will have cancer in the near future.  There's an equally good chance that you will think "that person's too young."  It's an epidemic.  If you don't realize that then you're living under a rock.

I really hope that I've spoken in a way that does not cause the cancer community to be upset with me.  This message should not take anything away from any of you.  I just wanted to say my piece about the importance of making people aware of the realities of all stages of cancer, especially in young people.  It is most certainly not my intention to upset anyone.  You are all stronger than I will ever be.  Whether or not you are bald, you are all some of the boldest people in this world and it would be a privilege to know any of you.  Keep fighting the good fight and keep living your lives.