Part of my story has been highlighted on the Young Survival Coalition webpage. I am glad to be part of this campaign. YSC has connected me with so many friends that will last a lifetime. From my first survivor friend I met in NJ back in December 2010 to my girls from C4YW, I love you all. Happy End Breast Cancer Month - Remember Breast Cancer is NOT PINK nor is IT PRETTY. THINK BEFORE YOU PINK.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
Two Years Out
Two years ago, I was waiting for my biopsy results... a week from today I will be exactly two years out from my initial diagnosis. I cannot believe how much has changed, how much time has flown, and how much I have grown.
I do not count my diagnosis date as my Cancerversary date. Some people do, I don't the tumor was still in me. Cancer cells were still growing. I have been counting my Mastectomy Date - November 11th. Some people count the end of treatment. Some people celebrate all 3. For the sake of me hitting the two year mark, I am going to celebrate all three. I am just grateful to be here, to be alive, and to be healthy. It has been a long road, but in 2yrs this is what I have come to understand:
~ Shed my fears
~ Learned to Love Myself more
~ Learned who will be there for me through thick & thin
~ Know that you cannot plan everything & that life has it's unexpected turns that you just need to roll with
~ That I can find peace with Cancer
In all of that, I have bounced back physically. I am in better shape than I was pre-cancer. I do not get tired easily anymore & I am no longer in pain when I run.
I also have taken the jump and begun to cross things off my bucket list... so far I have seen New Orleans & San Francisco. I am planning to go to Vegas soon. All of these ventures have been with my survivor sisters. These are friends I will have for lifetimes.
I thank Cancer, as crappy as it is, for bringing us together. I thank Cancer for making me a person who can conquer her demons. I thank Cancer everyday when I put on my Running Shoes that Chemo didn't kill me, it made me stronger. When I am 1/2way through my runs and I think "this is too hard," I remind myself that if I was able to run when I was bald & sick, I can do anything & I am never going to give up on anything when I am healthy and happy.
This video is an inspiration for all of us who have been there & despite all odds came out thriving!
I do not count my diagnosis date as my Cancerversary date. Some people do, I don't the tumor was still in me. Cancer cells were still growing. I have been counting my Mastectomy Date - November 11th. Some people count the end of treatment. Some people celebrate all 3. For the sake of me hitting the two year mark, I am going to celebrate all three. I am just grateful to be here, to be alive, and to be healthy. It has been a long road, but in 2yrs this is what I have come to understand:
~ Shed my fears
~ Learned to Love Myself more
~ Learned who will be there for me through thick & thin
~ Know that you cannot plan everything & that life has it's unexpected turns that you just need to roll with
~ That I can find peace with Cancer
In all of that, I have bounced back physically. I am in better shape than I was pre-cancer. I do not get tired easily anymore & I am no longer in pain when I run.
I also have taken the jump and begun to cross things off my bucket list... so far I have seen New Orleans & San Francisco. I am planning to go to Vegas soon. All of these ventures have been with my survivor sisters. These are friends I will have for lifetimes.
I thank Cancer, as crappy as it is, for bringing us together. I thank Cancer for making me a person who can conquer her demons. I thank Cancer everyday when I put on my Running Shoes that Chemo didn't kill me, it made me stronger. When I am 1/2way through my runs and I think "this is too hard," I remind myself that if I was able to run when I was bald & sick, I can do anything & I am never going to give up on anything when I am healthy and happy.
This video is an inspiration for all of us who have been there & despite all odds came out thriving!
Friday, April 27, 2012
Final Surgery
I had my final surgery yesterday. Had a complete revision of my reconstruction. My doctor removed the capsule and changed the type & size of implants. I know actually have separation between my foobs and more projection. I went from 475cc High Profile to 500cc Extra High Profile Alergan. All the radiated scar tissue is gone & my lymphedema in my trunk and hand seem to be resolving better.
Another great news is that I had my first "normal" test results from my OBGyn in years. My ultrasound, CA-125, and Pap all came back normal. This is the first time, I do not need to get biopsies or further testing to r/o another cancer after my 6mo visit. I am going to assume that healthy living and chemo killed whatever abnormalities were going on down there. I also found out that my anemia, b-12 and vitamin d3 levels are back to normal range. I think my supplement routine has a lot to do with that, so I am going to continue with that. I am very grateful that I don't have any medical problems to deal with for once.
I would update more, but I am super tired. <3 Cait
Another great news is that I had my first "normal" test results from my OBGyn in years. My ultrasound, CA-125, and Pap all came back normal. This is the first time, I do not need to get biopsies or further testing to r/o another cancer after my 6mo visit. I am going to assume that healthy living and chemo killed whatever abnormalities were going on down there. I also found out that my anemia, b-12 and vitamin d3 levels are back to normal range. I think my supplement routine has a lot to do with that, so I am going to continue with that. I am very grateful that I don't have any medical problems to deal with for once.
I would update more, but I am super tired. <3 Cait
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Bad Blogger
I have been the worst blogger. I barely post anymore. One could take that as a good thing - I have been really busy with life & work and having had much to talk about on the cancer front. One could ASSUME its a bad thing, that I have dropped off earth. Hello people, I am here & doing well. I have just been too busy to sit down and blog.
The only thing on my cancer radar now is this ongoing struggle with Lymphedema in my left hand. I flew into NOLA back at the end of February and left with the worst case of Lymphedema I could have ever imagined. I went back in November to prevent this from happening, but my sleeve and glove failed me. Unfortunately, the odds are against me and this might be a life long thing. I had radiation for 28 sessions, lost 20-something lymph-nodes on my left side, and had a 3-week seroma (i.e. lymphatic fluid blockage) for 3 weeks post Mastectomy.
The cure for lymphedema: wrapping, massage & elevation. I want a permanent fix. I have been wrapped up 24-7 for almost 5 weeks now & it really is not going away. The real fix is actually wearing a glove and sleeve while exercising to push out the fluid, but I have not been given a new glove yet. Last week at PT, my hand was too puffy to fit into any of the correct gloves. After a week of "serious" wrapping, I am finally getting fitted for a stronger Lymphedema glove. I hope that it will bring down the swelling and enable me to return to some sense of normality.
Today I go back to my PT for that glove, I hope it is the answer to this month long annoyance. Its gotten a little aggravating. I have been referred to the mummy, Hell Boy, Michael Jackson, a burn patient etc...which is kinda funny at first, but I am at the point where I want my hand back. I have just gotten fed up, because the PT wrapping & elevation is not getting this fluid out of my hand.
On an another note - I have surgery on the 26th. I am excited to fix this reconstruction job. Also, I have gone from 150lbs in December back down to 133/134lbs, which is closer to my pre-cancer weight of 128/130lbs. I am very happy. I never thought fixing the reconstruction or fitting into jeans again would be possible. Now, I just need a normal hand.
The only thing on my cancer radar now is this ongoing struggle with Lymphedema in my left hand. I flew into NOLA back at the end of February and left with the worst case of Lymphedema I could have ever imagined. I went back in November to prevent this from happening, but my sleeve and glove failed me. Unfortunately, the odds are against me and this might be a life long thing. I had radiation for 28 sessions, lost 20-something lymph-nodes on my left side, and had a 3-week seroma (i.e. lymphatic fluid blockage) for 3 weeks post Mastectomy.
The cure for lymphedema: wrapping, massage & elevation. I want a permanent fix. I have been wrapped up 24-7 for almost 5 weeks now & it really is not going away. The real fix is actually wearing a glove and sleeve while exercising to push out the fluid, but I have not been given a new glove yet. Last week at PT, my hand was too puffy to fit into any of the correct gloves. After a week of "serious" wrapping, I am finally getting fitted for a stronger Lymphedema glove. I hope that it will bring down the swelling and enable me to return to some sense of normality.
Today I go back to my PT for that glove, I hope it is the answer to this month long annoyance. Its gotten a little aggravating. I have been referred to the mummy, Hell Boy, Michael Jackson, a burn patient etc...which is kinda funny at first, but I am at the point where I want my hand back. I have just gotten fed up, because the PT wrapping & elevation is not getting this fluid out of my hand.
On an another note - I have surgery on the 26th. I am excited to fix this reconstruction job. Also, I have gone from 150lbs in December back down to 133/134lbs, which is closer to my pre-cancer weight of 128/130lbs. I am very happy. I never thought fixing the reconstruction or fitting into jeans again would be possible. Now, I just need a normal hand.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
YSC Tour de Pink
I just came back from the YSC conference in NOLA. I somehow went nuts and signed up for a 3day bike ride. Yes, 3 days, 220 miles from Philadelphia to DC. It will be Sept 28-Sept 30 & I need to raise 2,500 to get to ride. I am going to be training my butt off for this. I know 220 miles is crazy & it’s a huge challenge, but I know that I can do it! I want to show that I am tougher than cancer. This long time runner will become a cyclist within the next 6mo.
YSC has helped me so much, but I want to give back to the cause. This race will help raise money to support Young Survival Coalition, the organization that helped save my sanity and helped me connect with many other survivors & life-long friends . The YSC Tour de Pink is much more than just a ride, it’s a chance to honor survivors, raise awareness and support important programs for young women with breast cancer. It also helps us survivors get travel grants so we can go to our annual conference and connect with other survivors. If I didn't have my YSC girls, I would be lost. Please donate to our cause and our race.
YSC has helped me so much, but I want to give back to the cause. This race will help raise money to support Young Survival Coalition, the organization that helped save my sanity and helped me connect with many other survivors & life-long friends . The YSC Tour de Pink is much more than just a ride, it’s a chance to honor survivors, raise awareness and support important programs for young women with breast cancer. It also helps us survivors get travel grants so we can go to our annual conference and connect with other survivors. If I didn't have my YSC girls, I would be lost. Please donate to our cause and our race.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Surgery Date Set
Revision surgery has been set for April 26th. I have 3 mo to wait, relax, and wait in anticipation for a better reconstructive surgery. :-)
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Surgery
Well I finally decided on my surgeon for the revisions: Dr. Iorio. I met with him today to discuss and prepare for surgery on 2/2/12. I discussed my concerns:
1. Being just shy of 6mo out of radiation
2. Having two weekend vacays planned in late Feb, only 2 weeks shy of surgery.
3. Also coming to the understanding that I will have expanders in during the summer & I will just have to deal with the protrusions and a one-piece bathing suit OR being a vampire again for summer of 2012. LOL.
After discussing these concerns, we decided to post-pone surgery until March/April & he is going to call me with my Pre-Op date and surgery date before the end of today or by tomorrow. I feel much better with this decision. I feel like I got a chance to talk about my fears and expectations about surgery and also clarify what we will be doing in the first surgery. I wanted no confusion & Kyle surely stepped up to the plate and helped with asking questions.
I had my phone stolen, so my blog, email, and facebook are the best ways to contact me until I get a new phone this afternoon. In the meantime, I am excited I get to try to continue on my great fitness routine I have been on. I want to run one race pre-surgery and I also want the expanders settled so I can start training for some summer races ... maybe the Livestrong Challenge and the YSC Bike Ride are in my future....I am hoping, because treatment got in my way of that last year!
I am very glad that now I plan a little better for the surgery. I will be out 2 weeks from work. It gives me more time to plan for my co-workers and family. Nurses welcome & visitors are also welcome during my time of couch surfing this upcoming Spring.
1. Being just shy of 6mo out of radiation
2. Having two weekend vacays planned in late Feb, only 2 weeks shy of surgery.
3. Also coming to the understanding that I will have expanders in during the summer & I will just have to deal with the protrusions and a one-piece bathing suit OR being a vampire again for summer of 2012. LOL.
After discussing these concerns, we decided to post-pone surgery until March/April & he is going to call me with my Pre-Op date and surgery date before the end of today or by tomorrow. I feel much better with this decision. I feel like I got a chance to talk about my fears and expectations about surgery and also clarify what we will be doing in the first surgery. I wanted no confusion & Kyle surely stepped up to the plate and helped with asking questions.
I had my phone stolen, so my blog, email, and facebook are the best ways to contact me until I get a new phone this afternoon. In the meantime, I am excited I get to try to continue on my great fitness routine I have been on. I want to run one race pre-surgery and I also want the expanders settled so I can start training for some summer races ... maybe the Livestrong Challenge and the YSC Bike Ride are in my future....I am hoping, because treatment got in my way of that last year!
I am very glad that now I plan a little better for the surgery. I will be out 2 weeks from work. It gives me more time to plan for my co-workers and family. Nurses welcome & visitors are also welcome during my time of couch surfing this upcoming Spring.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Sloan ... Groan
Although, I have some resentment toward Sloan i.e. the Chemo fiasco & implant crap. When I saw Dr. Disa on the 30th of December, he salvaged my opinion of that place. Dr. Disa was by far one of the nicest and informative doctors at Sloan. I still get panic attacks going there, so I knew in my heart even though Dr. Disa was nice & was giving me multiple options, I could never go under the knife there again without freaking out.
Dr. Disa explained that I have two options, which were the same given by the local doctor, Dr. Iorio. He explained the risks and benefits of both. Dr. Disa also said that my skin was barely damaged from radiation, so I could go either way, I just need to take it easy.
I left the appointment confused and unsure of what I wanted to do. Then I made a decision. I liked Dr. Iorio a lot, his empathy and mannerisms reminded me of my oncologist, Dr. Cairoli, whom I trust my life in his hands.
My surgery with Iorio is Feb 2. I am going to hit the "reset button": remove scar tissue that's causing my implants to feel hard, get my implant pockets reformed and lowered, add aloderm to create a better fold, and place tissue expanders, which should be filled to approximately 400cc or more at surgery. I will have drains again. I will be out of work a week. We plan on slowly expanding over 5-6mo and letting the skin settle before we swap out with implants. The goal is to get Extra High Profile Implants in the 600cc range, so my concave rib cage and sticking out bottom of my ribs are NOT larger than my implants anymore.
If this fails, our back up plan is a Bilateral Lat-Flap, but Iorio told me he has great success with radiated skin. I have faith in this guy.
I see one more doctor for consult on the 17th. If he gives me any new information, then I might hold off and just do the lat flap. For now, surgery is on for Feb 2 at JSUMC.
Dr. Disa explained that I have two options, which were the same given by the local doctor, Dr. Iorio. He explained the risks and benefits of both. Dr. Disa also said that my skin was barely damaged from radiation, so I could go either way, I just need to take it easy.
I left the appointment confused and unsure of what I wanted to do. Then I made a decision. I liked Dr. Iorio a lot, his empathy and mannerisms reminded me of my oncologist, Dr. Cairoli, whom I trust my life in his hands.
My surgery with Iorio is Feb 2. I am going to hit the "reset button": remove scar tissue that's causing my implants to feel hard, get my implant pockets reformed and lowered, add aloderm to create a better fold, and place tissue expanders, which should be filled to approximately 400cc or more at surgery. I will have drains again. I will be out of work a week. We plan on slowly expanding over 5-6mo and letting the skin settle before we swap out with implants. The goal is to get Extra High Profile Implants in the 600cc range, so my concave rib cage and sticking out bottom of my ribs are NOT larger than my implants anymore.
If this fails, our back up plan is a Bilateral Lat-Flap, but Iorio told me he has great success with radiated skin. I have faith in this guy.
I see one more doctor for consult on the 17th. If he gives me any new information, then I might hold off and just do the lat flap. For now, surgery is on for Feb 2 at JSUMC.
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